Cati Porter

The last of the cheese.

Here is the last of the three stories I wrote for Ghostwalk last year. For locals, this story was told at the Riverside Art Museum. For non-locals, all of these stories were part of a walking tour that occurs annually for Halloween, and is sponsored and put on by the California Riverside Ballet.

I’m a little sorry we didn’t make it this year. For the record, yes, my kids did help me with these. They had *lots* of input regarding characters, plot, etc. The fourth story, that one that I’m not posting, was for the children’s tour. The kids rode on a trolley around downtown, past the very cool old graveyard, Evergreen Cemetery, and it involved the three little pigs, little red riding hood, and peter and wolf (notice a theme? The wolf!) but because it was co-written, and it wasn’t that good to begin with, I’ll spare you.

I probably won’t post again until after the weekend, so Happy Halloween, watch out for tricks among the treats, and don’t eat so much candy that puke. (That’s *my* job.)

~

The Hostess with the Ghostess

(A medium sits at a large round table with a white table cloth and at least three candles in the center, white or purple, unlit; incense is burning – cinnamon, frankincense, and sandalwood are what is recommended – all three at the same time; a tape recorder/player playing new-agey music as people come in, then used to “record” the ghost, later to play it back; also, one “plant” in the audience (Person 1) who can be called up to sit at the table with the medium for the “séance” and one additional person picked at random (will require a little improve on the medium’s part. If not possible, then two “plants” for a total of three at the table; no dialogue written for this third person, but there needs to be at least three for it to be an “official” séance.)

Medium:     (To the audience as they walk in:) Welcome. Welcome. Glad you could join us. Sit down. Sit. (gesturing)

I’ve been called here today because a presence has been reported in this museum. There have been strange occurrences – chairs moved, paintings rearranged; strange noises. One morning the staff arrived to find the faucets in the bathroom turned on high and water on the floor.

Tonight we’re going to summon this presence and ask it what it wants. But I can’t do that alone; I will need two volunteers – you, and you.

Person 1:     Me?

Medium:     Yes, yes! Something about you… I don’t know… somehow I feel you are necessary… Yes. Please, come. Sit.

Have any of you ever done this before…? (asking those at the table, and the audience). Good. Good.

Medium:     We must now have absolute silence.
Do only as I say. I am going to attempt to record these events.

(Reaches over and pushes record on the tape recorder, then picks up the candles and holds one out for each of them)

First we must charge the candles. We must believe that they have the power to conjure the dead. Hold the candle in front of you and concentrate. Think about how powerful it is. Imagine smoke curling up from its wick. We must pass them around and do the same with each one.

(When finished the medium lights each candle and very ceremoniously places them in the center of the table.)

Now join hands with the person beside you and close your eyes.

(Motioning to the audience to do the same)

Take a deep breath. Breath in… slowly… breath out… relax… clear your minds….

Let us begin.

Oh spirit, we know that you are with us tonight and we ask you to show yourself. We believe you have been trying to contact us.. As friends we gather here to invite you to show us a sign. Speak to us, if it is your will….

(nothing happens)

Oh spirit, we ask that you commune with us and move among us….

(still nothing)

Person 1:    (Mutters) Huh! I knew this was going to be a joke.

Medium:     You question me? No wonder the spirit won’t show itself. You are a doubter. You must believe.

Person 1:    I didn’t ask to come up here. Why don’t I just go sit back down with them.

(Starts to stand up, points to the crowd.)

Medium:     Sit down! Have you not had any experiences with those who reside in the afterlife? Do you not have a loved one you might wish to call up? Perhaps that would convince you.

Person 1:    I don’t believe in ghosts.

(A faint ringing coming from the other room; person 1 looks around suspiciously)

Alright, what’s going on?

Medium:    Let’s ask the spirit world why they wanted me to pick you.

(The sound of something being violently knocked over).

Oh spirit, we know that you are among us. Speak to us!

If you hear us, rap once. (A pause, and then a distinct rap. Cautiously, the medium asks:) Do you know this man? (A loud raucous rapping.)

Was he a friend? Rap once for yes, twice for no. (Two raps.)

Was he family? Again, once for yes, twice for no. (Two raps.)

Was he your love? (One rap, then a pause, then two loud raps.)

So he was a former love? (One very loud rap.)

Medium:    Do you still doubt me? (looking to person 1).

Person 1:    This is some kind of trick. (To the air:) If it’s really you, tell us your name.

Medium:     Yes, tell us your name. Let’s begin with the first letter. (Slowly) One rap for A, two for B… (two loud raps). B? Does your name start with a B? Rap once for yes. (one rap.) Second letter: One rap for A, two for B, three for C, four for D, five for E… (five raps).

Person 1:    Beverly? (one very loud rap; person 1 looks around nervously).

Medium:    Do you believe me now?

Person 1:    Yes.

Medium:     Beverly, can you tell us why you are here?  (silence)
Beverly, did this man hurt you in some way? (two very loud violent raps.)
(a pause) Did he kill you? (very loud very hard repetitive rapping.)

Person 1:    That’s ridiculous! Don’t believe her! (he laughs) What am I saying? We’re talking to the air! This must be some sort of a trick.

(The faint ringing again)

(a pause) Did you hear that…?

Medium:    Hear what?

Person 1:    That ringing.

Medium:    No, I didn’t hear any ringing.

Person 1:    Then I guess you don’t hear that, either….

Medium:     What do you hear?

Person 1:    Running water…
Bev, you know I didn’t mean to hurt you… It’s just that life doesn’t always work out the way we plan. (the ringing gets louder)

Medium:    What didn’t you mean?

Person 1:    The phone was ringing. She was running water for a bath. I went to get the phone, then I went out for a walk. When I went back… she… she had drowned…. (a loud and violent rapping again)

Medium:    Is that what happened Beverly?
(two very hard raps, a pause, then two very hard raps again, then another pause, then two more very hard raps)

No. No. No. That’s what you’re saying, isn’t it? That’s not the way it happened?
(one hard rap, and then the lights go out; we hear a chair fall, and when the lights go on Person 1 is missing).

Medium:    Where did he go?

Beverly, tell us — did he kill you? (one loud rap) Yes.

(Silence; the medium stares off into space, then:) Everyone, stay calm. There he is!

(The medium runs out of the room. We hear something fall, then talking; a brief pause, then the two of them walk back in. Person 1 sits peacefully back at the table.)

Person 1:     (looking toward the audience) Don’t worry. He can’t harm you.

Medium:     (sitting down) Beverly, tell them what really happened.

Person 1:    (Person 1 is now speaking as Beverly) That night John and I had gone out for dinner downtown. We got into a fight – I don’t even remember anymore what it was about. When we got home I told him I wasn’t feeling well, that I was going to go take a bath and go to bed…. He asked if I wanted a drink. I said no, but he insisted. I didn’t want to argue anymore. I drank it quickly and then headed into the bathroom. I ran the water for the tub, got in, but I became woozy, and I sank down into the water… I called his name but he wouldn’t come…

The last thing I remember before I died was the phone ringing, and John telling someone on the other end that he would be there in ten minutes.

I could feel myself lift up out of my body.

In the living room I was standing beside him. I followed him around, trying to get his attention. And that’s when I saw the bottle of sleeping pills. And the liquor.

I screamed at him. I tried to hit him.  But he couldn’t hear me; he couldn’t feel anything.

And then he went out the door. Where was he going at ten o’clock?

I stayed with him all night. He went to the house of a girl; I recognized her. She works as a hostess in the restaurant.

He went back home at one. That’s when he called the police to report the accident. When they found the sleeping pills he acted surprised…. But because they could only find my prints on the bottle and on the glass they said it was a suicide….

Plus, they saw the note.

Medium:    A suicide note?

Person 1:    No, a note from him, telling me that he went out. That he was sorry that things weren’t working out between us, and that he might not be home that night….

Medium:    But he did come home.

Person 1:    Yes.

Medium:    Why would he leave you a note if he knew you were going to die? Why would he come home?

Person 1:    (sounding defensive) I don’t know… Diversion? Cover up? Who knows? Why don’t you just ask him…. (and then he shudders, and she’s out…)

Medium:    John – is that you now? That is your name, right? John?

Person 1:    (looking dazed) Yes, yes… that’s my name…. What happened?

Medium:    You were… possessed. Beverly was within you.

Person 1:    Beverly….

Medium:    Why did you run out of the room?

Person 1:    Well, maybe you’re used to this sort of thing, but I’m certainly not. This has been one of the strangest nights of my life. When the lights went out I got scared, so I ran.

Medium:    Beverly told us about the drowning. She says it wasn’t suicide.

Person 1:    (a pause) Of course it was. She was upset that night because I told her I wanted to see someone else. That’s when she told me to get out. I asked her to have one last drink with me, and then packed a bag and left.

Medium:    (looking around) Beverly – are you still here? Rap once if you’re still in the room. (nothing)

Beverly, please, if you’re here….

Person 1:    (Standing up) Now, if you don’t mind, I think I’ve had just about enough….  Bev, it was fun, no hard feelings. Really.

(Person 1 walks out of the room).

Medium:    (To the audience) Well, I guess she’s gone.

Thank you all for coming, and thank you, Beverly, for joining us….
Oh! The tape recorder. (she pushes stop, rewind). Why don’t we have a listen?

(while it’s rewinding) How sad, to be so broken up over love that one would end one’s life. I wonder if she’s still here in the museum. And the drowning… that would explain the running water.

But why rearrange the paintings? And the furniture?

(The medium pushes play, but it’s just static – and then, in a woman’s voice: I was an interior decorator.)